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Saturday, December 24, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Finnley's Journey
Those of you who aren't with us on Facebook may not have known that Care and her two daughters are on an amazing healing journey in Tenerife right now. Finnley's story is an a testament to miracles and is best described in her blog entry: http://finnleykate.blogspot.com/2008_06_01_archive.html
If you are moved by her story and would like to help support them and be kept up to date visit or follow their blog and you will also find an area to make a contribution. They have been so blessed by the generosity of many, but have a ways to go to reach their goal. As of today, here is their latest update and funds status: http://finnleykate.blogspot.com/2011/12/whales-can-save-our-souls.html
And lastly, I just love this little video of Finnley. She is such a sweet girl and makes the room warmer with her presence.
http://finnleykate.blogspot.com/2011/09/help-finn-swim-with-dolphins.html
Thank you so much and Happy Holidays!
A
If you are moved by her story and would like to help support them and be kept up to date visit or follow their blog and you will also find an area to make a contribution. They have been so blessed by the generosity of many, but have a ways to go to reach their goal. As of today, here is their latest update and funds status: http://finnleykate.blogspot.com/2011/12/whales-can-save-our-souls.html
And lastly, I just love this little video of Finnley. She is such a sweet girl and makes the room warmer with her presence.
http://finnleykate.blogspot.com/2011/09/help-finn-swim-with-dolphins.html
Thank you so much and Happy Holidays!
A
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Delilah
Hi Ashley! I hope this message finds you doing well. Brad and I are now the proud parents of Delilah, 5 lbs, 5 oz and 18 inches, born 5.5 weeks early on Wednesday, November 2, 2011 at 8:02 AM. We have quite the birth story!!! I am going to write it down in free form, partly so that I can remember what happened and also to share with you.
Contractions started on Sunday, October 30 around 4 PM. I called the UCSD Midwife number around 10 PM and was reassured that what I was feeling was simply practice contractions. Barely slept that night, woke up to continued contractions, called the Midwife number around 10 AM and was once again reassured that it was nothing to worry about...simply hydrate and relax. I took a long nap that day (after taking a Benadryl) and woke up with contractions - yet they were never on any sort of timetable. I called the Midwife at 6 PM and she recommended that I come in for an evaluation, more for peace of mind than anything else.
Brad and I left the house on Monday, Halloween evening, without a hospital bag - we thought for sure they'd be sending us home. I did at the last second throw my toothbrush and toothpaste into a bag. Once we got to the hospital, Rebecca the midwife on duty examined my cervix and reported that I was fully effaced and one cm dilated. At that point in time she said that she'd have to consult with the doctors on duty and most likely would have to turn my care over to them. She said that they would need to check my cervix again in an hour to see if there had been any change. Brad requested that she come back and be the one to examine me for consistency. She returned an hour later and reported that I was now 2 cm dilated and yes, most likely in labor. She did an ultrasound and confirmed the baby was definitely in the birth canal and at that point, turned my care over to the doctors.
I was moved from the evaluation room to a Labor and Delivery room around midnight. Brad asked if there were any volunteer doulas on call (Friday night Doulas was on our list of things to do this past week!!!!). Luckily a doula was on call and available to us. Her name was Lindsay and she arrived just after 2 am like an angel from heaven. We told her about our plan to birth using Hypnobirthing and no drugs, she was totally into it and supportive. The night went on with more contractions that varied with levels of intensity. Brad and Lindsay take turns massaging me and reminding me to use my breathing. I was checked a couple more times and was at 4 cm. In the morning a doctor came in and recommended that they break my bag. Brad asked her to give us some time to think it over...which we did and we decided that at 4 cm, that was not the direction we wanted to take. I was visited by many nurses and doctors...was placed on a fetal monitor and a contraction monitor and a penicillin IV...all things I had not envisioned - much less being in labor at 34.5 weeks - we received a visit from Pediatrics who discussed all of the risks our baby was facing due to preterm labor. It was scary. It was stated that I would be delivering in the OR and that my baby would be taken immediately for evaluation by the Pediatric team. The bright side: Brad could be with baby the entire time.
So, the day went on and on and although I resisted many requests to be 'checked', I did allow them to check a few times, only to find out I was holding at 4 CM. At some point I request a hot shower. You would have thought I asked for a walk around the block! What an ordeal, but the nurse finally relented and Brad was able to take me to the shower. A senior doctor named Dr. Hebert visited us and said that he had no interest in intervening with this birth. For at 34 weeks, she was either going to come or she wasn't and he didn't see a point in intervening with her plan. This comforted me. We also received a visit from the Chief Resident who was puzzled that I hadn't advanced, reiterated that she had no interest in breaking my bag, but suggested that I might need 'therapeutic rest'. She was going to consult with Dr. Hebert and return to us. At that point Brad asked her to please ask the midwife on duty to come down and discuss this option with us as well.
It is now about 3 PM on Tuesday, I am still at 4 cm, +2 and fully effaced and I haven't been fed in over 24 hours (besides the Saltine crackers Brad snuck to me). The midwife okays the therapeutic rest and explains it to us. I've been reporting more intense contractions, but from the monitor they can tell that in actuality they aren't that more intense. I am just very tired. Dr. Hebert says let this woman eat for she's not headed for a C-section any time soon. I am given some food and moved to the 7th floor for my 'therapeutic rest'. Lindsay the doula bids us farewell and says to call her if my status changes and she'll be there in a heart beat.
I become drowsy with the medicine which I am told will only make my baby sleepy. I am told I need this rest in order to finish the ordeal. I believe it. I am so spent. I sleep from 5-10 PM, Brad runs home to get us some supplies and my best friend Rae comes and sits by my bedside. I wake up thinking perhaps it was all a bit of a dream and it's now over only to find myself beginning to feel contractions again. I try to continue to sleep from 9-4 am during this time we listened to Marie Mongan on repeat. Around 4 am my contractions start to become unbearable. I am reminded by the nursing staff that I can not deliver there - I must deliver on the 2nd floor due to my preterm condition. Around 5 am I am checked and told that I am at 7 cm, -1 and it's time to move me downstairs.
Brad and I are now back on the Labor and Delivery Unit. Hooked up to machines again. Given a birth ball that can barely move within the small room. At 5:30 he asks if he should call Lindsay back and I say eh give her until 6 am. Lindsay arrives just after 6:15, I am checked again - and now told I am 6 cm, +2 (so basically the doctor in the paragraph above had no idea what she was talking about). I am really feeling the contractions and I ask what I can do for relief. It is recommended that I let the doctor break my bag which at that time, we weight the pros and cons - basically my baby is coming at some time but when will she arrive??!!! So, he breaks my bag at 6:30 and by 6:55 I am in active labor. Around 7:25 am I start feeling the need to push and of course, it's shift change! At 7:35 they load me up and wheel me into the OR and at least 8 people are present: Brad, Lindsay the Doula, Dr. Hebert (awesome), Dr. Tierney, a med student, 1 nurse and 1 doctor from Pediatrics, one Labor and Delivery Nurse. I am on my back, sitting up slightly, instructed to pull my legs back with each push and coached through each push which last about 10 seconds each. Completely lucid during contractions, I continue to push in rhythm with my contractions. At one point I ask if I have a hemorrhoid, I am told by the doctor that it's the biggest hemorrhoid of my life - it's my daughter's head and to reach down and touch it - which I do and it moved! I almost gagged!!! With each push, Dr. Tierney massages my perinea and moves my vagina around my baby's head with care.
The pushing lasted about 20 pushes and the last one I pushed with all my might and at 8:02 AM Delilah graced us with her presence. I saw her for a brief moment and then she was gone as was Brad. He was gone for at least ten minutes while I delivered my placenta. He returned beaming, full of excitement and word that our baby girl is really here and she's doing fine. I am wheeled back to my L & D room, change my gown and then wheeled to see my baby girl around 10 am where we instantly did skin to skin and she practiced nursing right then.
It's now 4 days later and I was discharged from the hospital on Friday and our baby girl is still at the Infant Special Care Unit at UCSD. It's heart-wrenching and painful, yet we know she's under the best care - and the best news is that she's healthy. She's just a little premature and needs some time to catch up. Each day we visit and see progress, I am pumping and she's beginning to nurse which is the most amazingly fantastic thing I've ever felt.
So, in short, our birth story is NOTHING like we ever planned or envisioned. But Delilah had a different plan and we are soooo glad she's here. And Brad is so proud of me - and I am proud of myself. I found a strength within that I had no idea existed. It was so important to me to birth my daughter without the assistance of drugs so that we could be present for and with her. Hypnobirthing allowed me to breath my way through the experience - and we used our BRAINs throughout the entire experience. Not only that, but I found a deeper love and understanding of my husband. I am so proud of the support we offer one another. Now we just wait eagerly to take our daughter home. Night time is the hardest time, but I am confident she'll be in our arms every night soon.
Thank you for letting me share.
xoxo
Laura
Contractions started on Sunday, October 30 around 4 PM. I called the UCSD Midwife number around 10 PM and was reassured that what I was feeling was simply practice contractions. Barely slept that night, woke up to continued contractions, called the Midwife number around 10 AM and was once again reassured that it was nothing to worry about...simply hydrate and relax. I took a long nap that day (after taking a Benadryl) and woke up with contractions - yet they were never on any sort of timetable. I called the Midwife at 6 PM and she recommended that I come in for an evaluation, more for peace of mind than anything else.
Brad and I left the house on Monday, Halloween evening, without a hospital bag - we thought for sure they'd be sending us home. I did at the last second throw my toothbrush and toothpaste into a bag. Once we got to the hospital, Rebecca the midwife on duty examined my cervix and reported that I was fully effaced and one cm dilated. At that point in time she said that she'd have to consult with the doctors on duty and most likely would have to turn my care over to them. She said that they would need to check my cervix again in an hour to see if there had been any change. Brad requested that she come back and be the one to examine me for consistency. She returned an hour later and reported that I was now 2 cm dilated and yes, most likely in labor. She did an ultrasound and confirmed the baby was definitely in the birth canal and at that point, turned my care over to the doctors.
I was moved from the evaluation room to a Labor and Delivery room around midnight. Brad asked if there were any volunteer doulas on call (Friday night Doulas was on our list of things to do this past week!!!!). Luckily a doula was on call and available to us. Her name was Lindsay and she arrived just after 2 am like an angel from heaven. We told her about our plan to birth using Hypnobirthing and no drugs, she was totally into it and supportive. The night went on with more contractions that varied with levels of intensity. Brad and Lindsay take turns massaging me and reminding me to use my breathing. I was checked a couple more times and was at 4 cm. In the morning a doctor came in and recommended that they break my bag. Brad asked her to give us some time to think it over...which we did and we decided that at 4 cm, that was not the direction we wanted to take. I was visited by many nurses and doctors...was placed on a fetal monitor and a contraction monitor and a penicillin IV...all things I had not envisioned - much less being in labor at 34.5 weeks - we received a visit from Pediatrics who discussed all of the risks our baby was facing due to preterm labor. It was scary. It was stated that I would be delivering in the OR and that my baby would be taken immediately for evaluation by the Pediatric team. The bright side: Brad could be with baby the entire time.
So, the day went on and on and although I resisted many requests to be 'checked', I did allow them to check a few times, only to find out I was holding at 4 CM. At some point I request a hot shower. You would have thought I asked for a walk around the block! What an ordeal, but the nurse finally relented and Brad was able to take me to the shower. A senior doctor named Dr. Hebert visited us and said that he had no interest in intervening with this birth. For at 34 weeks, she was either going to come or she wasn't and he didn't see a point in intervening with her plan. This comforted me. We also received a visit from the Chief Resident who was puzzled that I hadn't advanced, reiterated that she had no interest in breaking my bag, but suggested that I might need 'therapeutic rest'. She was going to consult with Dr. Hebert and return to us. At that point Brad asked her to please ask the midwife on duty to come down and discuss this option with us as well.
It is now about 3 PM on Tuesday, I am still at 4 cm, +2 and fully effaced and I haven't been fed in over 24 hours (besides the Saltine crackers Brad snuck to me). The midwife okays the therapeutic rest and explains it to us. I've been reporting more intense contractions, but from the monitor they can tell that in actuality they aren't that more intense. I am just very tired. Dr. Hebert says let this woman eat for she's not headed for a C-section any time soon. I am given some food and moved to the 7th floor for my 'therapeutic rest'. Lindsay the doula bids us farewell and says to call her if my status changes and she'll be there in a heart beat.
I become drowsy with the medicine which I am told will only make my baby sleepy. I am told I need this rest in order to finish the ordeal. I believe it. I am so spent. I sleep from 5-10 PM, Brad runs home to get us some supplies and my best friend Rae comes and sits by my bedside. I wake up thinking perhaps it was all a bit of a dream and it's now over only to find myself beginning to feel contractions again. I try to continue to sleep from 9-4 am during this time we listened to Marie Mongan on repeat. Around 4 am my contractions start to become unbearable. I am reminded by the nursing staff that I can not deliver there - I must deliver on the 2nd floor due to my preterm condition. Around 5 am I am checked and told that I am at 7 cm, -1 and it's time to move me downstairs.
Brad and I are now back on the Labor and Delivery Unit. Hooked up to machines again. Given a birth ball that can barely move within the small room. At 5:30 he asks if he should call Lindsay back and I say eh give her until 6 am. Lindsay arrives just after 6:15, I am checked again - and now told I am 6 cm, +2 (so basically the doctor in the paragraph above had no idea what she was talking about). I am really feeling the contractions and I ask what I can do for relief. It is recommended that I let the doctor break my bag which at that time, we weight the pros and cons - basically my baby is coming at some time but when will she arrive??!!! So, he breaks my bag at 6:30 and by 6:55 I am in active labor. Around 7:25 am I start feeling the need to push and of course, it's shift change! At 7:35 they load me up and wheel me into the OR and at least 8 people are present: Brad, Lindsay the Doula, Dr. Hebert (awesome), Dr. Tierney, a med student, 1 nurse and 1 doctor from Pediatrics, one Labor and Delivery Nurse. I am on my back, sitting up slightly, instructed to pull my legs back with each push and coached through each push which last about 10 seconds each. Completely lucid during contractions, I continue to push in rhythm with my contractions. At one point I ask if I have a hemorrhoid, I am told by the doctor that it's the biggest hemorrhoid of my life - it's my daughter's head and to reach down and touch it - which I do and it moved! I almost gagged!!! With each push, Dr. Tierney massages my perinea and moves my vagina around my baby's head with care.
The pushing lasted about 20 pushes and the last one I pushed with all my might and at 8:02 AM Delilah graced us with her presence. I saw her for a brief moment and then she was gone as was Brad. He was gone for at least ten minutes while I delivered my placenta. He returned beaming, full of excitement and word that our baby girl is really here and she's doing fine. I am wheeled back to my L & D room, change my gown and then wheeled to see my baby girl around 10 am where we instantly did skin to skin and she practiced nursing right then.
It's now 4 days later and I was discharged from the hospital on Friday and our baby girl is still at the Infant Special Care Unit at UCSD. It's heart-wrenching and painful, yet we know she's under the best care - and the best news is that she's healthy. She's just a little premature and needs some time to catch up. Each day we visit and see progress, I am pumping and she's beginning to nurse which is the most amazingly fantastic thing I've ever felt.
So, in short, our birth story is NOTHING like we ever planned or envisioned. But Delilah had a different plan and we are soooo glad she's here. And Brad is so proud of me - and I am proud of myself. I found a strength within that I had no idea existed. It was so important to me to birth my daughter without the assistance of drugs so that we could be present for and with her. Hypnobirthing allowed me to breath my way through the experience - and we used our BRAINs throughout the entire experience. Not only that, but I found a deeper love and understanding of my husband. I am so proud of the support we offer one another. Now we just wait eagerly to take our daughter home. Night time is the hardest time, but I am confident she'll be in our arms every night soon.
Thank you for letting me share.
xoxo
Laura
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Blake
Hi Care!
Baby Blake has arrived!! He was born on 11/4/11 (his due date). 7 lb., 1 oz., 20.5 inches. We are so so so happy! Guess what??? He was born en caul!! So cool!! I delivered him in the birth center shower, standing up! It was a crazy long labor, but so worth it. I was in my bed, my birth ball, my shower, then birth center shower, tub, walking halls, bed and finally the shower. Crazy!! So worth it though. Baby Blake is amazing and so mellow. He is breast feeding like a champ and sleeping really well. He gained 2 ounces before we even left the hospital, I think because he started breast feeding immediately. The nurses and midwives were so confused and kept checking the scales, haha.
Thank you again!! Feel free to share the photos :)
UPDATE:
More of the Story...
For the first 2/3 of labor (10 hours) the hypnobirthing breathing was working really well. Then I got exhausted and everything got really intense for the last 5 hours, and I started to lose it. Nothing was working at that point.
At the end, when I was in the shower, the midwife came in and checked me for the first time. She said I was 8-9 cm dialated. So they said I should get back to the bed and get ready to push soon. I knew I was closer than that though, because on the previous contraction I used your trick and reached down and felt the baby's head! As I stepped out of the shower I had a contraction and pushed and felt down again and out came the baby's head!! The midwife was shocked and called everyone into the tiny room to assist. On the next contraction the rest of him was out. He didn't cry and just looked up at me as they put him in my arms. I walked back to the room down the public hallway naked, bleeding, holding the baby with the cord attached, and so so happy, hahaha what a site!!
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Beckett
Beckett was born September 7th, 2011 at Mary Birch. His parents prepared with HypnoBirthing and were blessed to have Care as their doula. Congrats Brianne and Chris! Watch his wonderful birth story by clicking the link below.
http://secure.smilebox.com/ecom/openTheBox?sendevent=4d6a63314f5463304d6a46384e6a49784e6a517a4f544d3d0d0a&sb=1
http://secure.smilebox.com/ecom/openTheBox?sendevent=4d6a63314f5463304d6a46384e6a49784e6a517a4f544d3d0d0a&sb=1
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
More Benefits to Red Raspberry Leaf Tea...
People have used raspberry leaf tea for centuries in North America, South America, China and Europe. It is most popular as an aide for pregnant women, historically being used to relieve almost everything from leg cramps to morning sickness. Evidence of red raspberry tea leaf's benefits for pregnancy is mixed. It may also be beneficial for controlling blood sugar, but you should speak to your doctor before using this, or any, alternative medicine.
Raspberry Leaves
Raspberry is a bush from the Rosaceae family best known for its fruit, but the leaves have their own value as an astringent and a stimulant. People drink red raspberry leaf tea for diabetes along with conditions including gastrointestinal tract disorders, cardiovascular system disorders and respiratory tract disorders. It is also used for fever, swine flu, vitamin deficiency, profuse menstruation, labor pains and diarrhea. Topically, people use red raspberry leaf for inflammation of the skin, mouth and throat. Food manufacturers in Europe put small amounts of red raspberry leaves in some foods as natural flavoring.
Blood Sugar
Raspberries can affect your blood sugar level. According to AltMD.com, studies have shown that raspberry may decrease your blood sugar levels, which can be beneficial for diabetes sufferers. Diabetes is a condition involving elevated blood sugar levels. Raspberry leaf tea may be helpful for diabetes sufferers because it is high in B vitamins. B vitamins help you to convert food into glucose, which is blood sugar. Vitamin B-3 has shown to be beneficial for Type 2 diabetes sufferers, according to the University of Maryland Medical Center. People with Type 2 diabetes frequently have elevated levels of cholesterol and fats in their blood. Vitamin B-3 may help lower those levels. However, vitamin B-3 may actually raise blood sugar levels, which is dangerous for diabetes sufferers. Your doctor can best decide if raspberry tea is safe for you.
Making Tea
Making raspberry tea is simple. To 1 cup of boiling water, 1 teaspoon of red raspberry tea leaf is added. After steeping for 10 minutes, it is strained and ready to drink, typically once or twice a day. For use during pregnancy, 1/2 ounce of tea is added to 1 pint of boiling water to drink once daily. Talk to a pediatrician before giving tea to children.
Diet
Drinking red raspberry leaf tea is not the only way your diet can make a difference on your blood sugar. MayoClinic.com promotes a diabetes diet of carbohydrates, fish, fiber and "good fats." Carbs are foods your body breaks down into blood glucose for energy. Eat the healthiest carbs such as lentils, fruits, vegetables, whole grains, beans and low-fat dairy products. Foods that are high in fiber help control blood sugar levels and aide digestion. All of the recommended carb foods except dairy are high in fiber. Fish can help lower blood fats, which promotes a healthy heart. They also have less cholesterol and saturated fats than meats. Unsaturated fats are "good" because they can help reduce cholesterol. Olives, canola oil and almonds are good fats.
Reduce Blood Sugar 44% Try Glucocil™ Free For One Month! Safe, Natural & Effective. Try Now. www.Glucocil.com
How To Lower Blood Sugar 10 Tips To Lower Blood Sugar. Lifestyle Changes To Curb Diabetes. www.LifeScript.com
References
- Natural Medicines Comprehensive Database: Red Raspberry
- MayoClinic.com: Diabetes Diet: Create Your Healthy-Eating Plan
- Drugs.com: Raspberry
- AltMD: Raspberry
- Mother & Child Health: Red Raspberry Leaf Tea -- Can This Herb Ease Childbirth
- University of Maryland Medical Center: Vitamin B3 (Niacin)
- Australian College of Midwives Incorporated Journal: Raspberry leaf and its effect on labour: safety and efficacy
- Journal of Midwifery & Womens Health: Raspberry Leaf in Pregnancy: Its Safety and Efficacy in Labor
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
Parker
I started having regular surges Tuesday, August 16th morning but not very close, maybe every 45minutes. Throughout the day they got closer maybe every 20-30 minutes apart into the night. I was up and down with them I even took a shower and a bath because I couldn’t sleep. The morning of August 17th Casey got up to go to work and I told him I didn’t think he should….
He stayed home with me, we went to breakfast then came home and I napped for a couple hours. We walked about a mine and by then it was about 11 and my surges were between 6-15 minutes apart and much more regular. I knew it was getting closer!! Around 12:20 I got a longer surge and then my water broke. We talked and decided we were going to stay home a while longer until we felt it was time to go to the hospital.
By a little after 1pm I was ready, they were getting closer and stronger. So we got our things together and went to Grossmont Hospital. We arrived around 1:30, checked in, got our room and when our nurse checked to make sure my water had broke, which it had and to see my progress I was ~4 ½ cm.
I must say after about 1 ½ hrs of labor I was ready to through in the towel, I had what was referred to as a “transition” surge and I threw up multiple times which took me out of my zone. Casey was the best through this! He assured me that this is what we wanted and spoke with our nurse, who was awesome and got her to check me to see my progress, I was already at ~7cm!! Hearing this I knew I could continue on.
About another 1 ½ hrs went by and I was done again, but with Casey’s love and support and the nurses report that I had made it to 10cm and was ready to push I couldn’t have been happier. I pushed for about 1 hour 45 minutes and he arrived!
Parker
August 17th, 2011
7 lbs 5 oz 21 inches long
He is precious and we love him more than words can explain. We were left the hospital at 9:30pm on August 19th and are loving life.
I am soo happy with our labor and delivery of him. Without the love and support of Casey and the techniques and knowledge I learned with Hypnobirthing such a great experience wouldn’t have been possible. He latched as soon as he was born and has been feeding great every since. I was fully aware of everything around me after labor and was able to fully participate in everything that happened to him and me.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Monica
Hi Ashley
I wanted to let you know that Mike and I had our baby, Monica, was born on September 12th. She was 12 days late but came on her own, just two days before having to be induced.
Hypnobirthing was a godsend throughout the whole process. My water broke at 9am on Sunday morning. I did not call the midwives at UCSD because I didn't think I had to since I was GBS neg and although my contractions were regular, they were not strong. We stayed home most of the day, I baked raisin bars for the nurses, Mike cleaned and watched football, we took our dogs on a couple walks. Around 5pm the contractions were stronger and so I called the midwife on call. She was not too pleased with me that I had not called when my water broke (you would think with me being a nurse practitioner I would have known- oops!). In the end I was so glad I didn't call and go in because it would have been 9 more hours at the hospital and we had such a pleasant and exciting day at home just the two of us.
When we arrived at UCSD (around 6:30 pm) the birth center did not have a nurse who could take me so I was admitted to the L&D floor. Our nurse was great, the room was great, I was in the shower a lot. Around midnight I asked for the volunteer doula because I really felt like I was getting into active labor. She was great, did not interfere with Mike and I only pushed my hips during surges (all my labor was in my back). Mike did a great job keeping me relaxed and focused on my breathing throughout the surges. I had my iPod and listened to Affirmations on repeat.
At 4am I asked the midwife to check me and I was 5cm dilated. At this point I felt like I could not do it any longer and started asking for medications. The midwife and Mike reminded and helped me to stay in the moment and not focus on the future, which is what I had been doing. The next hour is a total blur, it was unbelievably intense (and painful!) At 5am they told me there was a room in the birth center and they had started filling the tub. They wheeled me up there at 5:15 but the tub had about a 1/2inch of water in it, that was disappointing to see. During my first contraction up there the midwife looked and said she could see the baby's head! I had gone from 5cm to 10cm in one hour and could now push, I was SO happy!
I pushed for 35 minutes and Monica was born at 5:55 AM. Her coming out was the most unbelievable feeling, I was ecstatic it was over and SO happy I had not gotten medications.
Thank you for teaching such a wonderful class, I will recommend Hypnobirthing to any of my friends who want to try and have their baby naturally.
I wanted to let you know that Mike and I had our baby, Monica, was born on September 12th. She was 12 days late but came on her own, just two days before having to be induced.
Hypnobirthing was a godsend throughout the whole process. My water broke at 9am on Sunday morning. I did not call the midwives at UCSD because I didn't think I had to since I was GBS neg and although my contractions were regular, they were not strong. We stayed home most of the day, I baked raisin bars for the nurses, Mike cleaned and watched football, we took our dogs on a couple walks. Around 5pm the contractions were stronger and so I called the midwife on call. She was not too pleased with me that I had not called when my water broke (you would think with me being a nurse practitioner I would have known- oops!). In the end I was so glad I didn't call and go in because it would have been 9 more hours at the hospital and we had such a pleasant and exciting day at home just the two of us.
When we arrived at UCSD (around 6:30 pm) the birth center did not have a nurse who could take me so I was admitted to the L&D floor. Our nurse was great, the room was great, I was in the shower a lot. Around midnight I asked for the volunteer doula because I really felt like I was getting into active labor. She was great, did not interfere with Mike and I only pushed my hips during surges (all my labor was in my back). Mike did a great job keeping me relaxed and focused on my breathing throughout the surges. I had my iPod and listened to Affirmations on repeat.
At 4am I asked the midwife to check me and I was 5cm dilated. At this point I felt like I could not do it any longer and started asking for medications. The midwife and Mike reminded and helped me to stay in the moment and not focus on the future, which is what I had been doing. The next hour is a total blur, it was unbelievably intense (and painful!) At 5am they told me there was a room in the birth center and they had started filling the tub. They wheeled me up there at 5:15 but the tub had about a 1/2inch of water in it, that was disappointing to see. During my first contraction up there the midwife looked and said she could see the baby's head! I had gone from 5cm to 10cm in one hour and could now push, I was SO happy!
I pushed for 35 minutes and Monica was born at 5:55 AM. Her coming out was the most unbelievable feeling, I was ecstatic it was over and SO happy I had not gotten medications.
Thank you for teaching such a wonderful class, I will recommend Hypnobirthing to any of my friends who want to try and have their baby naturally.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
The Power of Story...
Part of me thinks it because birth was such a normal, everyday thing - it just wasn't a big deal. Women had babies all the time and it wasn't so remarkable. Unless someone died in childbirth or shortly thereafter it didn't cause any family hardship so why mention it? Another part of me says it wasn't recorded because my ancestors had a lot on their plate back then. Not only were they caring for and nursing a new baby but the regular tasks of the day still fell on her shoulders. Who had time to write in a journal when daily survival was number one on the list?
So what is our excuse for not recording the most important event of our life - the "Birth Day" of our baby? We have no game to kill, clean and cook. No crops to gather, soil to till or market to sell our wares. No fire to stoke, no wood to chop. No water to pump and bring inside, then heat and bathe in it. Instead, our housekeeper comes once a week, we order takeout, DVR Survivor and update our FaceBook status. Hard life, no time to document what could be life changing for someone else - mainly our own child.
Recording and reciting our birth stories is more important than we recognize. I speak of this in my classes when talking about bonding and building a child's self esteem. Children need to know that they have always been the apple of your eye. Knowing how you cared for them from the time you knew they were coming makes them feel important. Knowing how you prepared for them, talked to them in the womb, worried about them before you ever knew them- leads them feel special, needed and loved. As you connect to your little one before they arrive, their birth story becomes more about the transformation all of you go through as a family and it begins a solid, life long journey together.
Loaded question. If you have recorded things about your pregnancy along the way then you have a head start. If not, you can start now - while you are still pregnant. You can write the first half of your story before the baby even comes. Planning for baby(or not - oops!), conception, first trimester, thoughts, feelings, doctor/midwife visits, books you read, foods you lost interest in, smells that got to you, 2nd trimester, birth partners thoughts about the pregnancy and baby, worries, fears, hopes, expectations, classes, preparation, choices you made regarding baby and their "birth day".
There are endless things you could record and go over. But keep it simple. Facts can be brief but the feelings that come up around all of these things can be very telling, very healing and should be explored once they are acknowledged. I encourage my parents to write about all this stuff BEFORE baby comes. Not only does it give you a great head start for the birth story but it can also shed light on issues that need to be addressed before baby enters your world.
So you go into labor...
This is not the time to keep notes(at least not for YOU to keep notes). Assign someone in your birth team ie. birth partner, doula to keep track of main events and times. In labor, it should be about letting go and being in the experience. Your birth team will be able to record what you feel is important - time you left for the hospital, who your nurse was, when your water released, time baby was born etc. Decide what's important and make a little list.
So baby is home and you are sleep deprived...
Yes and your memory starts to fade quickly. The easiest thing to do is record while breastfeeding. If you have a way to audio record details and feelings about your birth - super simple. Some parents have friends that really want to help after baby comes home - put them to work. Grab the laptop and while you are feeding the baby, they can be typing as you speak. Even if they are just main points to jog your memory for a later time. The sooner you put your story down on paper, the more accurate it will be. I was amazed at how fresh my experience was the first few days and how within a week or two, my friend was reminding me of details I would have completely forgotten. It's natures way of making us want to procreate again after such an intense experience!
Putting it all together...
1. Visualize physical details, sensations, actual thoughts you had, or words people said to you or to each other.
2. Be as present in the past as you can be with your story.
3. Tell the truth-regardless of how you might think it sounds.*
Your baby's story is as unique as they are. Things that you record are a part of them - it's their story. Whether it was your idea of the ideal birth or not, don't sweep it under the rug. Talking about it is healing and will help you see the lessons learned or shown to you. If it was over the top amazing - then shout it from the roof tops and let other mothers know what is possible and that they have choices. Recite your baby's story with them at least once a year(it's a great birthday tradition after cake and ice cream). They were there, they participated and they remember - on a cellular, spiritual and real level - they remember their birth.
Write and share your story...
*list borrowed from Madeira Books
Monday, September 19, 2011
Daniel
Hi Ashley,
Since the class concluded, Victoriya continued to practice breathing and listen to rainbow, affirmation and relaxation tracks. At 40 weeks she only had a few minor practice contractions and it was clear we would be over the estimated date. We were counting days thinking that any day could be THE day and had everything ready in the car. The time was going by and we were approaching 42 weeks. At this point we have been going for heartbeat checkups twice a week.
The doctor had advised that once we are over 42 weeks, it is strongly advised that the labor is induced in order to make sure that the baby is not in trouble. Victoriya, however, was resolved on waiting until the body starts labor on its own without the prompts from the outside. As it happened, the night before the 42 week date her water broke around midnight and we knew that we would see our baby soon. The contractions came half an hour later and were coming in strong and regularly. We’ve started following our plan – practice breathing, relaxing and waiting until the surges get closer. We’ve spent about 9 hours at home until contractions were 5 minutes apart. Every one of them was strong and required quite a bit of resolve on relaxing the body. When we decided it was time to go we got into our car and made way to the Palomar hospital.
Immediately upon arrival, we had to assert our desires for minimal intrusion, check-ups, IV’s and other “standard procedures”. This didn’t sit quite well with some of the staff, but our minds were made up. Within a short period of time we had a different nurse and doctor, both of whom were much more receptive to out wishes. They read through the 3-page birth plan we have devised some weeks earlier, which was also approved by our doctor. They have asked a few questions to confirm some of the points, but had no objections to any of them as long as we understood our own requests and were willing to sign liability releases.
Within a short period after arrival to the hospital, the surges got even closer and more intense. Some more pockets of fluid had release which caused substantial pain and required the use of some techniques learned at the class. Rocking motion, while sitting backwards on a chair and doing “horse lips” alongside with a backbone massage seemed to carry Victoriya through the toughest parts. At this point the labor was not going exactly as we had expected – instead of slow, gradual and gentler birth – the labor was progressing quickly and with intensity. We stuck to the plan of not doing the epidural or taking any other drugs to progress or soften the labor. 14 hours after the start of contractions in the middle of the night, Daniel Yuri was born without complications, use of Pitocin, epidural or any other drugs. At 9lbs and 55cm he was one big, but beautiful baby boy who immediately was placed into mom’s loving hands.
Victoria was ready to go back home shortly after Daniel was born, but we decided to stay the night in order to get acquainted with the proper swaddling and feeding techniques. 24 hours after been admitted we have left the hospital and went home with a baby sleeping calmly in the car-seat. Despite the fact that our birth experience was not the same as featured in some of the videos we’ve seen during the class, it was a very positive and powerful experience. We are glad that we went to HypnoBirthing class and learned about the natural birth and natural ways of dealing with the most critical moments. Proving drug and procedure free birth to our baby was a success after all. We appreciate all of the knowledge, support and reassurance that HypnoBirthing class had provided us. When we have our second child – we will do it in a similar, natural fashion. Knowing about our rights and options had proved invaluable under the pressures of the hospital setting. At the end, with support from HypnoBirthing and Palomar Hospital staff we’ve had the birth we wanted for our boy.
Thank you again,
Sincerely,
Victoria, Daniel and Yuri
Since the class concluded, Victoriya continued to practice breathing and listen to rainbow, affirmation and relaxation tracks. At 40 weeks she only had a few minor practice contractions and it was clear we would be over the estimated date. We were counting days thinking that any day could be THE day and had everything ready in the car. The time was going by and we were approaching 42 weeks. At this point we have been going for heartbeat checkups twice a week.
The doctor had advised that once we are over 42 weeks, it is strongly advised that the labor is induced in order to make sure that the baby is not in trouble. Victoriya, however, was resolved on waiting until the body starts labor on its own without the prompts from the outside. As it happened, the night before the 42 week date her water broke around midnight and we knew that we would see our baby soon. The contractions came half an hour later and were coming in strong and regularly. We’ve started following our plan – practice breathing, relaxing and waiting until the surges get closer. We’ve spent about 9 hours at home until contractions were 5 minutes apart. Every one of them was strong and required quite a bit of resolve on relaxing the body. When we decided it was time to go we got into our car and made way to the Palomar hospital.
Immediately upon arrival, we had to assert our desires for minimal intrusion, check-ups, IV’s and other “standard procedures”. This didn’t sit quite well with some of the staff, but our minds were made up. Within a short period of time we had a different nurse and doctor, both of whom were much more receptive to out wishes. They read through the 3-page birth plan we have devised some weeks earlier, which was also approved by our doctor. They have asked a few questions to confirm some of the points, but had no objections to any of them as long as we understood our own requests and were willing to sign liability releases.
Within a short period after arrival to the hospital, the surges got even closer and more intense. Some more pockets of fluid had release which caused substantial pain and required the use of some techniques learned at the class. Rocking motion, while sitting backwards on a chair and doing “horse lips” alongside with a backbone massage seemed to carry Victoriya through the toughest parts. At this point the labor was not going exactly as we had expected – instead of slow, gradual and gentler birth – the labor was progressing quickly and with intensity. We stuck to the plan of not doing the epidural or taking any other drugs to progress or soften the labor. 14 hours after the start of contractions in the middle of the night, Daniel Yuri was born without complications, use of Pitocin, epidural or any other drugs. At 9lbs and 55cm he was one big, but beautiful baby boy who immediately was placed into mom’s loving hands.
Victoria was ready to go back home shortly after Daniel was born, but we decided to stay the night in order to get acquainted with the proper swaddling and feeding techniques. 24 hours after been admitted we have left the hospital and went home with a baby sleeping calmly in the car-seat. Despite the fact that our birth experience was not the same as featured in some of the videos we’ve seen during the class, it was a very positive and powerful experience. We are glad that we went to HypnoBirthing class and learned about the natural birth and natural ways of dealing with the most critical moments. Proving drug and procedure free birth to our baby was a success after all. We appreciate all of the knowledge, support and reassurance that HypnoBirthing class had provided us. When we have our second child – we will do it in a similar, natural fashion. Knowing about our rights and options had proved invaluable under the pressures of the hospital setting. At the end, with support from HypnoBirthing and Palomar Hospital staff we’ve had the birth we wanted for our boy.
Thank you again,
Sincerely,
Victoria, Daniel and Yuri
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
What is a Blessingway?
I had no idea what a Blessingway was. It sounded a little hippie to me at first but since I dig that sort of thing I read up on it. As I researched, a Blessingway seemed to be a bit ritualistic, a bit Native Americanish, yet also embracing of all types of cultural tradition from around the world.
“Sacred space” were words I kept running into and I was more than intrigued to find out more. When I think of rituals I think of secret things that are done in the woods somewhere. However, I have come to understand that word in a whole other context as I did my research and then attended a Blessingway. They are nothing more than formal observances or gestures collectively done as a group. Each religion is full of ceremony and ritual but as a collective whole in our society, we don’t have a lot of that going on. It tends to feel foreign to us so we shy away from that which makes us feel a little unsettled. I encourage you to read on and discover what I have about this ceremony.
Unlike traditional baby showers where we tend to invite everyone we know from work, all our family and our twenty best college girlfriends; most Blessingways are on the small side. At a Blessingway, the mother only includes the women she feels the closest too and to whom she attains the best support from in her life. A Blessingway is also specific in the rituals that are shared among those in attendance. It’s ceremonial in way so that it maintains a peaceful space for the mother and her baby. There are no party games, food is kept to a minimum and the gifts tend to be geared towards caring for the mother’s needs and not just the babys. Traditional baby showers have their place in helping to ease the financial burden of the new parents to be and in entertaining the guests with allowing them to shop for the latest trend in baby clothes. Showers are a practical occasion with a side dish of party. A Blessingway is on a whole other level.
The intention of a Blessingway is to help a mother prepare emotionally and spiritually for her birthing. In America, it seems we spend all of our time preparing physically with diet and exercise for birth. We may read a book or two or take a childbirth class but we tend to leave the biggest component out of birth. That component is how the mother is doing with her pregnancy and her upcoming labor process. Labor and birth is transforming and will change the rest of the woman’s life. A Blessingway allows for her to celebrate it on a deep emotional level that we have somehow lost in our culture. Mothers need emotional support and a feeling of community as they embark on their birthing journey. A Blessingway provides that lack of connection in our present day world. We must remember that in past times, birth was a right of passage into womanhood. Women attended to women throughout their pregnancy and birthing. Birth was a normal occurrence, not medically managed and dictated. The womanly care from sisters, mothers, aunties and friends passed on positive advice and helpful birthing tips and birth stories to help the mother embrace the experience. Breastfeeding support was a given because that was all there was to feed your baby. If there was a glitch in that system, then another woman stepped in as a wet nurse to keep the baby nourished until the mother could resume her role. There was a sense of community that has been lost in today’s materialistic and busy world. A Blessingway helps to restore that and build a stronger foundation for the mother-to-be.
I felt I almost needed to attend one to really get the feel of why a mother would want one and how this sense of community could be fulfilled. It was not until a mentor doula friend of mine hosted a workshop on how to lead a Blessingway that I finally felt the benefit. She led us through a series of rituals that flowed one to another. We surrounded the pregnant mother with lots of attention and really focused on her. It was not about diaper pin games, nicely wrapped presents and the extravagant food on the table. It was about connecting with mother and baby and the deep communication was almost non-verbal. There was a reverence maintained throughout the Blessingway. We still laughed and talked - so it was not a solemn, serious event but more thought was put into what was talked about it front of the mother. Everything revolved around her and her needs during this pregnancy and what she would need afterward. The rituals performed had been chosen ahead of time by the mother so they were what she needed to take care of her emotional needs for the labor and birthing process. We were there to listen and care take any needs she had. I finally understood the “sacred space” phrase I had read so much about. I felt transformed from just attending this workshop and it wasn’t even a real Blessingway. I knew I had to share this and facilitate one soon.
Wasn’t it just dumb luck that Ashley – my teaching partner is pregnant! I explained to her what it was and gave her some books on Blessingways so she could pick out the rituals she would feel comfortable with. Some rituals are very hands on and only the mother knows what she and her guests would be comfortable doing. While a bit hesitant of how it would go (should I be offended at that?), she made a list of her nearest and dearest and I got to work. Normally, a friend or family member would host it and another woman would facilitate it. I did both the hosting and facilitating since no one knew what it was and it was a lot of juggling on the Blessingway night to keep things running smooth. I would highly suggest two different women working together on a Blessingway – it would keep the energy more peaceful.
I felt that the night was going to be magical. Ashley’s Mother-in-law as in town, her friends had been really receptive and I toted my fourteen year old daughter and her friend along so they could enjoy the energy that only comes when women come together, united in purpose.
My daughter’s friend is a Henna Artist so she arrived early to do a Henna design on Ashley’s belly. I then handed over a camera to each girl and let them capture the moments throughout the evening. The nice part about being the facilitator is that you set the tone and the pace for the evening. In order to make everyone feel comfortable with what we were doing, I always went first so they had an example of how things were done. We enjoyed iced tea and cookies before the ceremony – keeping it simple and giving time for everyone to arrive. We began with a rose water purification ceremony where the women washed their hands and formed a circle around the room.
We then cast our circle to hold the space. A candle was lit and Ashley’s Mother-in-law read the dedication prayer.
Next, we opened with introductions by repeating our maternal linage. This is done by introducing first with our own name, our children’s names if we have children, then our mothers, our grandmothers names. I began – I am Care, mother to Angie and Finnley. Daughter of Lynn and granddaughter of Sue and Clyda. This ritual evoked a sisterhood of sorts and connected us all back to who we came from. It was moving.
Ashley then introduced her baby to each guest… and guests read their letter they had written to her new baby.
Guests then began to present their gifts to Ashley. Gifts were anything that would inspire and/or support Ashley in her motherhood journey.We then let Ashley release any fears she had moving forward into her pregnancy, labor time, birthing and parenting. This was a time for us to just listen and support, not solve or make suggestions.
Next, our circle took hands as a poem was read about the strength of a woman.
Our closing ceremony consisted of two items. The Bracelet of Connectedness held us all together as beads were strung on each wrist to remind us of Ashley & her baby each time we looked down at it. A prayer of thankfulness is to be said when the baby has arrived safely and the bracelet then is cut from our wrists.
A candle was handed out to each guest and lit from Ashley’s candle. Guests will receive a text when labor has been established and they are to say a prayer of good wishes and blow it out once the baby has arrived. The candles reunite our energy at the time when Ashley and her baby most need to feel it.We then joined hands one last time, read a poem in unison and concluded the ceremony.
It was a magical evening. Everyone came into it skeptical as to what to expect and then afterwards just wanted to sit and talk with one another. My daughter and her friend had never felt that kind of “spirit” if you will and were so warmed by it. They both asked to help with the next one. Baby showers have their place, but a Blessingway is a much needed gathering to reconnect us as women. It reminds us that our main goal is to support each other in kindness and love. I believe it would begin to change the way our birth our children in strength, unity and love.
Friday, July 29, 2011
HypnoBirthing Story Night
HypnoBirthing Story Nights are to inspire and empower women to know that their bodies are capable of giving birth calmly, comfortably and with little fuss. Birth is not a medical procedure but a natural, normal physical transformation for the woman and her body. Women are strong and their bodies are not broken! Enjoy our evening!
Rebecca Schreiber: Rebecca’s first birth was at Palomar Hospital and there were a lot of medical interventions. She wanted something different for her second birth and used HypnoBirthing for her second child. Rebecca was supposed to birth at Palomar again but ...
http://player.vimeo.com/video/25634321?color=ff0179
Angie Capetanakis: Attorney by trade, Angie has two girls ages 2 yrs and 6 months old. Angie used HypnoBirthing for both babies and delivered her girls non-medicated at Scripps Encinitas. Her husband, Dr. Cap(as he is nick named) was by her side and incredible birth support for her. Dr. Cap is a great supporter of Natural Birth.
http://player.vimeo.com/video/25638207?color=ff0179
Janelle Jagers: Janelle is the mother of 2 yr old twin girls. Her twins were delivered early by C-section. Janelle wanted to have VBAC(Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) and knew she needed some extra techniques to do it. Her doctors at UCSD were open to a VBAC and with the support of her husband and doula, she did just that.
http://player.vimeo.com/video/25641050?color=ff0179
Shauna Bibb: Owns a local pet grooming salon in Scripps Ranch. This first time mom was nervous to give birth(as we all are) and so she sighed up early to take HypnoBirthing classes. She hired a doula and had a beautiful water birth at Best Start Birth Center.
http://player.vimeo.com/video/26681569?color=ff0179
Care's talk:
http://player.vimeo.com/video/25622655?color=ff0179
Rebecca Schreiber: Rebecca’s first birth was at Palomar Hospital and there were a lot of medical interventions. She wanted something different for her second birth and used HypnoBirthing for her second child. Rebecca was supposed to birth at Palomar again but ...
http://player.vimeo.com/video/25634321?color=ff0179
Angie Capetanakis: Attorney by trade, Angie has two girls ages 2 yrs and 6 months old. Angie used HypnoBirthing for both babies and delivered her girls non-medicated at Scripps Encinitas. Her husband, Dr. Cap(as he is nick named) was by her side and incredible birth support for her. Dr. Cap is a great supporter of Natural Birth.
http://player.vimeo.com/video/25638207?color=ff0179
Janelle Jagers: Janelle is the mother of 2 yr old twin girls. Her twins were delivered early by C-section. Janelle wanted to have VBAC(Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) and knew she needed some extra techniques to do it. Her doctors at UCSD were open to a VBAC and with the support of her husband and doula, she did just that.
http://player.vimeo.com/video/25641050?color=ff0179
Shauna Bibb: Owns a local pet grooming salon in Scripps Ranch. This first time mom was nervous to give birth(as we all are) and so she sighed up early to take HypnoBirthing classes. She hired a doula and had a beautiful water birth at Best Start Birth Center.
http://player.vimeo.com/video/26681569?color=ff0179
Care's talk:
http://player.vimeo.com/video/25622655?color=ff0179
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Upcoming Breastfeeding Class
There is a breastfeeding class coming up on Tuesday, July 26th at Java Mama in Scripps Ranch. It is right off the 15 (exit Mira Mesa). Robin is an excellent teacher and provides up-to-date information coupled with a free support group after the baby arrives! While breastfeeding is natural, that doesn't always mean it will come naturally...especially if it isn't something that is talked about within your family and friend circles. As with all things baby related, the more educated and supported you are, the more successful you will be!
One of the biggest keys to succeeding at breastfeeding is to set your head for a learning curve experience. Learning to breastfeed is no different than learning to swim, knit or sing: there may be bumps along the way, but keep your eye on the prize and before you know it, you’ll be doing great! Unfortunately, many new moms set themselves up for disappointment by expecting that breastfeeding will come “naturally” — “how hard can it be? Women have been doing it for millennia” –or they expect it to be painful and difficult because they have heard stories about how hard it can be. The truth is neither. The truth is that although breastfeeding is instinctive, it is a skill that both mother and baby have to learn and master. This is what we call the learning curve of breastfeeding and it usually takes about 4-6 weeks.
To use the sports analogy again, if you decided to take up running, you would expect to get sore muscles, but because you know that it’s part of the experience, you would take it in stride and not let it derail you. Unfortunately, because our culture fell off the breastfeeding wagon (don’t forget that only 20% our parents breastfed in the 60s-70s), we have lost a sense of what to expect and our definition of “normal” and “natural” has become warped. At the same time, targeted efforts to undermine breastfeeding have put roadblocks in the way of women succeeding. The unfortunate result for too many women is that their first race is uphill with hurdles, often depending on where you give birth or what part of the country you live in! So be gentle with yourself and your baby during this time—you both are learning a new skill and a new relationship. And really, 4-6 weeks is a small period of time compared with the lifetime of benefits for both of you!
Finally, don’t compare and despair: there are some women for whom breastfeeding comes as easy as golf comes to Tiger Woods. Whether by natural talent, or because they were lucky to have fewer breastfeeding booby traps™ in their way, these women had no problems breastfeeding and have difficulty understanding why others do. They (or their friends or doctors) may end up coming across as a bit insensitive or invalidating towards you in the process. Don’t let this get you off kilter! Most people have not stopped to consider all the cultural and institutional barriers to breastfeeding and, therefore, have contributed to blaming mothers unfairly. Best for Babes is working to educate family, friends and professionals, as well as removing those booby traps™, so that new moms are no longer thrown under the bus and breastfeeding is restored to the “normal” and “natural” experience that it was designed to be.
Here are our key evidence-based concepts to get you off to a great start:
To do imagery, make sure you are seated in a straight-backed chair with arms, your feet planted parallel to each other flat on the floor (this is called Pharoah’s Posture). Breathe out and in 3 times, out through the mouth and in through the nose, with the exhalation being longer than the inhalation.
Here are two exercises you can do at any time, but we think the first is especially good to do in the second trimester of your pregnancy and onwards, and the second in the last trimester close to the time the baby is born, or after the baby’s birth, as needed.
The information in this document is in no way intended to diagnose or treat any medical condition and is not a substitute for an in-person evaluation by a breastfeeding-friendly pediatrician or qualified, independent Internationally Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC).
Prepare: The Learning Curve of Breastfeeding
By Danielle Rigg, JD, CLC
© 2008 The Best for Babes® Foundation. All rights reserved.
One of the biggest keys to succeeding at breastfeeding is to set your head for a learning curve experience. Learning to breastfeed is no different than learning to swim, knit or sing: there may be bumps along the way, but keep your eye on the prize and before you know it, you’ll be doing great! Unfortunately, many new moms set themselves up for disappointment by expecting that breastfeeding will come “naturally” — “how hard can it be? Women have been doing it for millennia” –or they expect it to be painful and difficult because they have heard stories about how hard it can be. The truth is neither. The truth is that although breastfeeding is instinctive, it is a skill that both mother and baby have to learn and master. This is what we call the learning curve of breastfeeding and it usually takes about 4-6 weeks.
To use the sports analogy again, if you decided to take up running, you would expect to get sore muscles, but because you know that it’s part of the experience, you would take it in stride and not let it derail you. Unfortunately, because our culture fell off the breastfeeding wagon (don’t forget that only 20% our parents breastfed in the 60s-70s), we have lost a sense of what to expect and our definition of “normal” and “natural” has become warped. At the same time, targeted efforts to undermine breastfeeding have put roadblocks in the way of women succeeding. The unfortunate result for too many women is that their first race is uphill with hurdles, often depending on where you give birth or what part of the country you live in! So be gentle with yourself and your baby during this time—you both are learning a new skill and a new relationship. And really, 4-6 weeks is a small period of time compared with the lifetime of benefits for both of you!
Finally, don’t compare and despair: there are some women for whom breastfeeding comes as easy as golf comes to Tiger Woods. Whether by natural talent, or because they were lucky to have fewer breastfeeding booby traps™ in their way, these women had no problems breastfeeding and have difficulty understanding why others do. They (or their friends or doctors) may end up coming across as a bit insensitive or invalidating towards you in the process. Don’t let this get you off kilter! Most people have not stopped to consider all the cultural and institutional barriers to breastfeeding and, therefore, have contributed to blaming mothers unfairly. Best for Babes is working to educate family, friends and professionals, as well as removing those booby traps™, so that new moms are no longer thrown under the bus and breastfeeding is restored to the “normal” and “natural” experience that it was designed to be.
Here are our key evidence-based concepts to get you off to a great start:
Practice Makes Perfect.
The good news is that your little babe has tremendous instincts which drive him/her to the breast immediately following birth — newborns can even crawl to the breast unassisted to latch on for a feeding! (see Lennart Righard and M. Alade, “Effect of Delivery Room Routines on Success of First Breast-feed,” The Lancet 336, no. 8723 (3 November 1990): 1105–1107). However, your little babe still needs to master the skill of milking and emptying the breast. And you, Babe, need to master how to latch your baby and how to read his/her hunger and satiation (satisfaction) cues–both of which are often frustrating feats in the first days. The fastest way to master a good latch is to exclusively breastfeed. This is because milking a breast is nothing like sucking (as in through an artificial (bottle) nipple or straw) – breastfeeding uses the baby’s tongue and jaw to compress and create a vacuum affect. The less you interfere with breastfeeding, therefore, (ie., no unnecessary separation of mother and baby, no scheduling of feedings, no pacifiers until breastfeeding is established, no supplements unless medically indicated, and then, only given by cup, spoon or syringe so as to avoid tampering with the baby’s latch), the more quickly you and your baby will ramp up to cruising speed and be problem-free. As leading breastfeeding expert and pediatrician Dr. Jack Newman likes to say, “Babies learn to breastfeed by breastfeeding!” (see www.drjacknewman.com for more excellent advice and information).Have Reasonable Expectations and Give Yourself Permission to Make Mistakes.
Although some lucky moms get a great latch from the get-go, most moms (at least in our culture) tend to spend the bulk of their learning curve experience working with their baby to perfect this skill. This is time well-spent because a good latch is a major key to breastfeeding success. Here’s some insider advice: In the beginning, it is not unusual to need to latch, detach, and re-latch your Babe over and over again. Really, it might take 10 –that’s right, TEN, or more– tries to get a latch that satisfies both you and your babe. Importantly, this is not a sign of rejection! Many moms misinterpret these trials as “my baby doesn’t want it!” and begin the downward spiral of dwindling confidence in her body’s and baby’s ability to breastfeed, aided and abetted by well-meaning but ill-informed hospitals, doctors, and relatives and peers. (Just in case you were wondering, women didn’t always have as many struggles with breastfeeding: women who are allowed to birth without medications, are allowed to put their babies to the breast immediately after birth, encouraged to wear their babies throughout the day, keep them close-by at night, and know to nurse them on demand, do have far fewer breastfeeding problems. In fact, in cultures where breastfeeding is the norm and supported at all levels, nursing is much, much easier!)Learning Doesn’t Mean Hurting.
We have heard droves of women repeat the myth that the first two weeks of breastfeeding are painful no matter what. This is not true! Sore nipples and pain are not an inevitable part of learning how to breastfeed!! Rather, sore nipples and pain are almost always a sign of a poor latch – and a poor latch is usually both avoidable and correctible! Letting a lazy latch continue is tempting to a new mother who has struggled to get the baby on the boob for 10 minutes and is not being given proper guidance, but it is a lose-lose situation: a shallow latch usually means that your baby isn’t able to get as much milk – which also puts you’re your milk supply at risk (the more they take, the more you make and vice-versa), solidifies your baby’s lousy latching habits making it a harder habit to break them of, and causes pain and soreness. So what is normal? Yes, your delicate, newbie nursing breasts may feel uncomfortable as they adjust to the unexpected sensations of baby breastfeeding (not quite like the titilation—pun intended—that got you knocked-up in the first place!) but that feeling should dissipate as the feed continues, and should be non-existent (or near non-existent) once your milk supply is established (a couple of weeks) and you near the end of the learning curve. If you feel true pain – pain that lingers beyond the first few moments of a feeding and you would rate as a 4 or more on a scale of 1-10, take your baby off the breast – carefully– and re-latch him/her. (Note: you don’t ever want to pull your nipple out of your baby’s mouth—ouch!—but, rather insert your pinky in the corner of your baby’s mouth and pull back toward his/her ear until you hear the seal of the latch break.) Better yet: make sure you see the hospital LC, or if she isn’t available or providing enough help, call an outside LC (see our section “Your A-Team”). Please take this advice seriously, it doesn’t take long (24 hours or less) to go from a little sore, to a lot sore, to “I can’t take it anymore!” –which is exactly what has undone a vast number of well-intentioned moms. Don’t let this be you! Sore nipples are usually a simple problem that can be fixed. Not attending to them is like letting a major leak in your pipes go unrepaired; eventually the damage can destroy the foundation of your house.Surrender and Ask for Help.
This is a biggie. The beginning of motherhood is a true test of surrendering – a time that requires you to focus on you and your baby and not much else. This can be a real challenge for most of us modern moms – especially if you have other children or, like us, were older, used to a very busy life outside the home, and reticent to ask for help. We understand! However, new motherhood is the perfect example of an “either let go, or be dragged” situation. You see, your main goal with a newborn is to not just to get him/her fed – but to get him/her settled—which means, satisfied, calm, nurtured and content. The best way to do that is by surrendering to the role your body and your baby need and expect you to assume for now – that is, the role of primary nurturer. The more you fight nature’s design, the less settled and content your baby will be—which can continue into toddlerhood and beyond — and the more irritable and tired you are likely to be. If this sounds too extreme for you, consider the fact that on a very real physical and psychological level, you and your baby are still one; cutting the umbilical cord does not mean your baby is ready to be separated from you. On the contrary, newborns and new moms are very much dependent on each other for optimal health. Just like kangaroo babies cannot live outside the pouch, human babies are born in a state of dependence on their mother – both for sustenance and development. Your milk literally completes the development of your baby’s immature digestive and immune systems by depositing critical antibodies, infection fighters and the like, and provides the perfect food for his/her still-growing brain. (See our section “Get Inspired by Your Mom-Made Wonder Food – Dazzling and Amazing Lesser-known Facts” for more). Your providing milk also does wonderful things for you, Babe. Breastfeeding contracts your uterus and gives you a flat stomach, protects you from obesity by burning 500 calories a day to lose your baby fat, shortens the duration of postpartum bleeding, suppresses ovulation and menstruation, provides surges of hormones that will calm you and help ward of postpartum depression, just to name a few cool benefits. If the idea of someone being dependent on you seems overwhelming, and trust us, we understand!—take solace from knowing that it is only temporary, and studies show that the more bonded and interdependent you are with your newborn, the more independent and emotionally healthy your child will be later on. So, put first things first and get other people to nurture you and help you – prepare meals, put water or juice beside you every time you nurse, clean up, do the laundry and shopping, babysit an older child– so that you are free to focus on nurturing your baby. If you are short on family or friends to help, think about hiring a doula—a woman who specializes in “nurturing the nurturer” (YOU)—and usually has significant knowledge regarding breastfeeding (you can find listings of certified doulas in your area at http://www.dona.org).Have a Supportive Loved-One By Your Side.
The learning curve period is a fragile time for you and your baby, a time when you need as much support as you can get from your spouse/partner. Studies show that spousal support, or lack of it, can make or break breastfeeding. (Littman, H. et. al., 1994: The Decision to Breastfeed: the Importance of Father’s Approval, Clin. Pediatr. 33[4]:214). The reality is that many moms—whether they are breastfeeding or not–“hit a wall” of some sort during the first few days, when they are exhausted and postpartum hormones are raging. This challenge usually strikes, by the way, at 3am on day 2 of your child’s life when your baby – who was previously sleepy from delivery, is now coming awake and getting hip to the whole nursing thing, and your mature milk may is not flowing yet. So, having a partner/spouse who is completely enrolled in and behind breastfeeding—and why we encourage them to attend a good breastfeeding class with you – is critical! You simply need someone beside you at 3am who will remind you about what you are reading now — that this is a learning curve, not to give up too soon, and, most importantly, give you a hearty and reassuring “you can do it!” (See our Section “Top 5 Breastfeeding Tips”). Your spouse/partner should be like the breastfeeding protector, weeding out shady advice, shielding you from snarky comments and negative influences, demanding a good lactation specialist if you need more help than you are getting, and commanding the troops to help you when you are home.See Yourself Successful.
A fabulous tool for ensuring your breastfeeding success (or any success for that matter) is to do mental imagery. You may be familiar with the concept of “think positive” or visualization—Michael Phelps is a testimony to what can be done by believing in yourself and believing it is possible! Mental imagery is an integral part of mind-body medicine, and is similar to those tools, but even more effective. (See http://www.drgeraldepstein.org for more wonderful tools and exercises for healing and wellness) It is also much quicker, lasting only a few seconds.To do imagery, make sure you are seated in a straight-backed chair with arms, your feet planted parallel to each other flat on the floor (this is called Pharoah’s Posture). Breathe out and in 3 times, out through the mouth and in through the nose, with the exhalation being longer than the inhalation.
Here are two exercises you can do at any time, but we think the first is especially good to do in the second trimester of your pregnancy and onwards, and the second in the last trimester close to the time the baby is born, or after the baby’s birth, as needed.
- SECOND TRIMESTER IMAGERY – Embracing the Mantle of Motherhood. Do this exercise first thing upon waking and last thing before sleeping for 21 days, or as needed once baby is born.
Breathe out and in 3 times and state your intention silently that you are now doing the Mantle of Motherhood transformation exercise to help you embrace and succeed in your new role as mother and it is taking a few seconds.
See yourself growing in confidence and power as your belly grows. Imagine yourself taking a breastfeeding class, enrolling those close to you, and becoming knowledgeable and excited about nurturing your baby and giving your baby the best start in life. See yourself nursing your baby and handling any obstacles calmly and competently; you are strong, yet flexible and can adapt, solve any problems, and succeed. See yourself surrounded by a loving community of women who have gone before you and who are cheering you on, see yourself being admired by the women who come after you who will learn to take on the mantle of motherhood from watching your transformation and learning from your experience. Breathe out one time. See, sense, feel and know that you are truly powerful and open your eyes - THIRD TRIMESTER IMAGERY – A Perfect Beginning. Do this exercise first thing upon waking and last thing before sleeping for 21 days—or if your baby is already born, do as needed.
Breathe out and in 3 times and state your intention silently that you are now doing the Perfect Beginning exercise and it is taking a few seconds.
See yourself after a wonderful birth experience. Your baby has just emerged from your body, wanting you and your love and nurturing. See your baby curled around your breast, melting into your body, warmed by your body temperature, comforted by your heartbeat and smell, and nursing blissfully away, getting all the nourishment (s)he needs from your Mom-Made Wonderfood™. You have no pain or discomfort. Breathe out one time and see your partner or a loved one, looking on at the two of you, thinking they have never seen anything more beautiful or perfect, and neither have you. Breathe out one time and see, sense, feel and know that you are powerful, able to nourish this baby and that this is the perfect beginning and open your eyes.
Talk About It With the Girls.
Just about every new mother gets to a point during that first week of motherhood when her hormones team up with her exhaustion and she feels completely overwhelmed and defeated. This is exactly when any unresolved issues or worries will creep into your awareness and try to get you to quit. This is normal postpartum stuff, Babes. It’s that wall again—the one that all mothers hit whether they are nursing or not! The key to getting past this tough time is to have someone you trust with whom you can share your tears, fears, frustrations, and enjoy a good laugh, so you don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater (i.e. make nursing the culprit when it usually is not). Too many moms have let their milk dry up at this juncture, only to later regret their decision and blame themselves, when they later learn that they could have gotten past the hump had they shared their situation with another woman and gotten help. An ideal friend can help you think straight enough to figure out if your nursing woes are emotional or physical—and if it’s the latter, remind you to call in an LC or help you find answers online. Please don’t try to tough it out alone. Women need to vent and get the compassion of others to overcome challenges. Don’t let this be the time you decide to deal with it on your own. Remember, 95% of nursing problems are easily corrected and avoided. So, this is the time to call in the women you trust and admire for sage advice and camaraderie (see our section “I Don’t Want to Breastfeed” for more).This is Not the Time to Be the Hostess with the Mostest.
As we said above, the learning curve period is a time for you to let the house go and whatever else goes with that. This is the time to let yourself be the center of everybody else’s attention. If you can accept and embrace your newly-earned status, and prepare and organize your postpartum life so that other people are busy with the rest of the chores, you will fare much better! You’ll be out and about running errands and shopping soon enough. Take these days to nestle in with your little babe and focus on bonding and breastfeeding, and you will both be better-tempered and more capable to take the show on the road in a few weeks. This is definitely not the time for you to be entertaining the relatives who want to meet your new babe. That goes double for your hospital stay — have as few visitors as possible in the hospital so that you can focus on learning your little babe’s hunger cues and latch and so you don’t have to deal with feeling uncomfortable nursing in front of others (although nursing can be done very discreetly, most moms find that the best learning position requires a full breast exposed – definitely not ideal if you have visitors!) The best gift a good friend or family member can give you at this time is supporting you to be able to nurture your baby: they can prepare a meal, do your laundry, the cleaning, the shopping, hold the baby while you sleep, play with older siblings, or buy you a visit with an LC who can provide more help than they can where breastfeeding is concerned. Here’s an idea for your baby shower—circulate a sign-up sheet with what you need so that meals and chores are covered. This is what women excel at—helping other women–so take advantage of it! Basically, anybody who walks through your door during this time ought to be willing to pitch in, not expect hors d’oeuvres and a perfectly polished home. Anybody who loves you will understand, believe us!Keep perspective.
As challenging as breastfeeding can be during the early weeks, you need to keep perspective about how short a time that really is compared to the lifetime benefits breastfeeding will give both you and your babe. Even if you are the type that wants to “get up and go” and hit that to-do list, commit to breastfeeding for at least 6 weeks. In the scheme of things, 6 weeks is not very long and will save you heartache over the things that tend to happen often with formula-fed babies; i.e. digestion difficulties, fussiness, painful constipation, intolerance to formula and formula switching, extra visits to the doctor for ear infections, more hospital visits (especially for dehydration from the stomach flu—something that affects breastfed babies far less), and so on. A favorite mantra of ours for new moms is “Everything is Temporary,”—meaning that as interminable as those first weeks seem, they aren’t. You won’t be nursing around the clock forever. Your baby and breastfeeding will continually change as (s)he grows and needs to eat less frequently – a six month old may only nurse 5-6 times a day, a one-year old may only nurse 2-3 times per day. Plus, more than likely, you will look back with fondness on that innocent and uncomplicated time of newness when it was just you and your baby cocooned in your own little world.The information in this document is in no way intended to diagnose or treat any medical condition and is not a substitute for an in-person evaluation by a breastfeeding-friendly pediatrician or qualified, independent Internationally Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC).
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