Contractions started on Sunday, October 30 around 4 PM. I called the UCSD Midwife number around 10 PM and was reassured that what I was feeling was simply practice contractions. Barely slept that night, woke up to continued contractions, called the Midwife number around 10 AM and was once again reassured that it was nothing to worry about...simply hydrate and relax. I took a long nap that day (after taking a Benadryl) and woke up with contractions - yet they were never on any sort of timetable. I called the Midwife at 6 PM and she recommended that I come in for an evaluation, more for peace of mind than anything else.
Brad and I left the house on Monday, Halloween evening, without a hospital bag - we thought for sure they'd be sending us home. I did at the last second throw my toothbrush and toothpaste into a bag. Once we got to the hospital, Rebecca the midwife on duty examined my cervix and reported that I was fully effaced and one cm dilated. At that point in time she said that she'd have to consult with the doctors on duty and most likely would have to turn my care over to them. She said that they would need to check my cervix again in an hour to see if there had been any change. Brad requested that she come back and be the one to examine me for consistency. She returned an hour later and reported that I was now 2 cm dilated and yes, most likely in labor. She did an ultrasound and confirmed the baby was definitely in the birth canal and at that point, turned my care over to the doctors.
I was moved from the evaluation room to a Labor and Delivery room around midnight. Brad asked if there were any volunteer doulas on call (Friday night Doulas was on our list of things to do this past week!!!!). Luckily a doula was on call and available to us. Her name was Lindsay and she arrived just after 2 am like an angel from heaven. We told her about our plan to birth using Hypnobirthing and no drugs, she was totally into it and supportive. The night went on with more contractions that varied with levels of intensity. Brad and Lindsay take turns massaging me and reminding me to use my breathing. I was checked a couple more times and was at 4 cm. In the morning a doctor came in and recommended that they break my bag. Brad asked her to give us some time to think it over...which we did and we decided that at 4 cm, that was not the direction we wanted to take. I was visited by many nurses and doctors...was placed on a fetal monitor and a contraction monitor and a penicillin IV...all things I had not envisioned - much less being in labor at 34.5 weeks - we received a visit from Pediatrics who discussed all of the risks our baby was facing due to preterm labor. It was scary. It was stated that I would be delivering in the OR and that my baby would be taken immediately for evaluation by the Pediatric team. The bright side: Brad could be with baby the entire time.
So, the day went on and on and although I resisted many requests to be 'checked', I did allow them to check a few times, only to find out I was holding at 4 CM. At some point I request a hot shower. You would have thought I asked for a walk around the block! What an ordeal, but the nurse finally relented and Brad was able to take me to the shower. A senior doctor named Dr. Hebert visited us and said that he had no interest in intervening with this birth. For at 34 weeks, she was either going to come or she wasn't and he didn't see a point in intervening with her plan. This comforted me. We also received a visit from the Chief Resident who was puzzled that I hadn't advanced, reiterated that she had no interest in breaking my bag, but suggested that I might need 'therapeutic rest'. She was going to consult with Dr. Hebert and return to us. At that point Brad asked her to please ask the midwife on duty to come down and discuss this option with us as well.
It is now about 3 PM on Tuesday, I am still at 4 cm, +2 and fully effaced and I haven't been fed in over 24 hours (besides the Saltine crackers Brad snuck to me). The midwife okays the therapeutic rest and explains it to us. I've been reporting more intense contractions, but from the monitor they can tell that in actuality they aren't that more intense. I am just very tired. Dr. Hebert says let this woman eat for she's not headed for a C-section any time soon. I am given some food and moved to the 7th floor for my 'therapeutic rest'. Lindsay the doula bids us farewell and says to call her if my status changes and she'll be there in a heart beat.
I become drowsy with the medicine which I am told will only make my baby sleepy. I am told I need this rest in order to finish the ordeal. I believe it. I am so spent. I sleep from 5-10 PM, Brad runs home to get us some supplies and my best friend Rae comes and sits by my bedside. I wake up thinking perhaps it was all a bit of a dream and it's now over only to find myself beginning to feel contractions again. I try to continue to sleep from 9-4 am during this time we listened to Marie Mongan on repeat. Around 4 am my contractions start to become unbearable. I am reminded by the nursing staff that I can not deliver there - I must deliver on the 2nd floor due to my preterm condition. Around 5 am I am checked and told that I am at 7 cm, -1 and it's time to move me downstairs.
Brad and I are now back on the Labor and Delivery Unit. Hooked up to machines again. Given a birth ball that can barely move within the small room. At 5:30 he asks if he should call Lindsay back and I say eh give her until 6 am. Lindsay arrives just after 6:15, I am checked again - and now told I am 6 cm, +2 (so basically the doctor in the paragraph above had no idea what she was talking about). I am really feeling the contractions and I ask what I can do for relief. It is recommended that I let the doctor break my bag which at that time, we weight the pros and cons - basically my baby is coming at some time but when will she arrive??!!! So, he breaks my bag at 6:30 and by 6:55 I am in active labor. Around 7:25 am I start feeling the need to push and of course, it's shift change! At 7:35 they load me up and wheel me into the OR and at least 8 people are present: Brad, Lindsay the Doula, Dr. Hebert (awesome), Dr. Tierney, a med student, 1 nurse and 1 doctor from Pediatrics, one Labor and Delivery Nurse. I am on my back, sitting up slightly, instructed to pull my legs back with each push and coached through each push which last about 10 seconds each. Completely lucid during contractions, I continue to push in rhythm with my contractions. At one point I ask if I have a hemorrhoid, I am told by the doctor that it's the biggest hemorrhoid of my life - it's my daughter's head and to reach down and touch it - which I do and it moved! I almost gagged!!! With each push, Dr. Tierney massages my perinea and moves my vagina around my baby's head with care.
The pushing lasted about 20 pushes and the last one I pushed with all my might and at 8:02 AM Delilah graced us with her presence. I saw her for a brief moment and then she was gone as was Brad. He was gone for at least ten minutes while I delivered my placenta. He returned beaming, full of excitement and word that our baby girl is really here and she's doing fine. I am wheeled back to my L & D room, change my gown and then wheeled to see my baby girl around 10 am where we instantly did skin to skin and she practiced nursing right then.
It's now 4 days later and I was discharged from the hospital on Friday and our baby girl is still at the Infant Special Care Unit at UCSD. It's heart-wrenching and painful, yet we know she's under the best care - and the best news is that she's healthy. She's just a little premature and needs some time to catch up. Each day we visit and see progress, I am pumping and she's beginning to nurse which is the most amazingly fantastic thing I've ever felt.
So, in short, our birth story is NOTHING like we ever planned or envisioned. But Delilah had a different plan and we are soooo glad she's here. And Brad is so proud of me - and I am proud of myself. I found a strength within that I had no idea existed. It was so important to me to birth my daughter without the assistance of drugs so that we could be present for and with her. Hypnobirthing allowed me to breath my way through the experience - and we used our BRAINs throughout the entire experience. Not only that, but I found a deeper love and understanding of my husband. I am so proud of the support we offer one another. Now we just wait eagerly to take our daughter home. Night time is the hardest time, but I am confident she'll be in our arms every night soon.
Thank you for letting me share.
xoxo
Laura
